A spiritual experience occurs when we are integrated within our body, heart, and mind, and our soul is connected to the vital life source that is bigger than us.
The process of transformation generates integration within ourselves, deepens our connection to God and our presence with others.
This is a cyclical process. Like the weather or the seasons, it is something that we have no control over, but we all know what the weather is like today and what season we are in. We don’t know what it is going to be like tomorrow, but we know when the days are getting longer and warmer.
In our growth and development, especially when circumstances or times become difficult, we get confused about where we are in the process of change. There is confusion about what the actual stages are for the process of transformation.
Defining the Transformation Process
For a long time, I thought there were three main stages, like a story that has a beginning, middle, and end. In the Christian tradition, the three steps are known as purgation, illumination, and union. Psychology calls them to surrender, testing, and resolution.
When I read the book Heart and Mind by Dr. Alexander Shaia, it was a revelation to discover that there were four main stages, and they match the Gospels, which he orders as Matthew, Mark, John, and Luke. I appreciate this ordering, being the youngest of four sons and named Luke.
I wrote an article on the four-fold process, yet still had some questions about threeness that seems to show up. We see the importance of three in the Trinity, space/time/matter, the states of matter, the Enneagram, and countless other places.
This week, I reached out to Dr. Shaia, and he was gracious enough to jump on a call and answer all questions. It was a highlight of my life to talk to such a brilliant man, and an author who has has a significant impact on my life. He was in North Central Spain, waiting out the COVID Pandemic at a retreat center.
In regards to the Trinty, Dr. Shaia responded:
You may be familiar with Rublev’s icon of the Trinity, the three angels around the table with the goblet in the center, and what we now know is that in the icon, there was a small mirror so that the person looking at the Trinity formed the fourth. And that really is part of the great mystery or grace of the Trinity that it is the fourth is you. The fourth is the viewer or the person who participates with the three.
The other way that I look at that is that the fourth is its matter, it’s humanity. But divinity wishes to be in a relationship with us. It’s not something separate from us. We think of the Trinity as something out there. But actually, that fourth element is the eros relationship of ourselves with the three.
We went on to talk about how frequently the four-stage process of transformation shows up in many fields, from psychology to business transitions.
The thing that I have become convinced myself is this pattern is something of divinity. And it’s not that anybody knows what everybody else is doing. It’s just when you’re in that source place, and this is how it comes out. There is this heartbeat, or however you want to describe it, and it’s sort of at the source. And when you come into contact with it, and you begin to work with the material, it’s the most natural outline of the material. You can’t reduce beneath four. Four is the core number for transformation.
If that wasn’t mind-blowing enough, Dr. Shaia went on the talk about the missing element in the transformation process.
In the classic Christian spirituality where you’ve got purgation, illumination, and union. But what it leaves out or actually it doesn’t leave it out, it assumes it. That the first part of the journey is wanting to make the journey or coming to the journey. So you don’t start with purgation, you begin with the desire to make the journey, which is the four.
It’s the same way with the labyrinth block. You’ve got the journey, and you’ve got the center, you’ve got the journey out, but you’ve got the draw to make the journey.
It is so interesting that it is sort of as dropped out because it’s assumed, but actually, it’s so important because a lot of people don’t make the decision to do the journey.
Few Choose To Make The Journey
Awareness of the desire to change is the first step in the transformation process. Choosing to take the journey is submitting to the process of change. It knows that change is possible, and it is not all up to me.
When we get into a situation where things are overwhelming, we resist change. It might be something that we hope would change, which always seems to keep coming back.
Choosing to step out into the change process is how our character is formed. There will always be bumps in the road, but you are on the way to integration. Integrity or feeling ready for the realities of life is the outcome we are moving towards.
The opposite path is the path of disintegration. When we are resigned to the fact that things will never change, it leads to hopelessness. What’s the point of doing things differently if it won’t have an impact?
It is impossible to make a change from a place of unawareness. Disintegration can only lead to change if we are aware that we are in this place. We become unable to innovate and solve the complex problems our world is facing. Become aware of the areas in your life that may be in disintegration.
Reflecting on our Lives
Reflection on our lives is the best way to become aware of where were are on the journey. When I spoke to Dr. Aleaxder Shaia, he talked about how different parts of our lives are at different points of the journey of transformation.
I’m constantly trying to discern with a particular issue. Because you’re every issue in your life is going to be at a different place on the journey. If you could go to the moon and look back at your life, you can probably see the overall pattern, but every day is your relational life, your business life, your parent, parental life, etc. will probably be in different places.
Primarily, my major sort of spiritual practice these days is week by week, working the Sunday gospel texts throughout the entire week, sitting with a discerning it listening to it, doing Lectio, journaling, seeing what dreams may come up as I constantly am going over the passage.
I am then trying to listen for myself in that passage. Where am I in the journey?
I was introduced to Jung at Notre Dame when I was in college. And so, I have decades now of being very familiar with sort of treating dream figures and figures in scripture as personalities.
It is interesting to note that the spiritual practice of Lectio Davina, sacred reading of scripture, also follows the four-fold process. In this process, the Holy Spirit draws our attention to a word or praise. We then listen to God’s voice and the area in our lives he might be speaking to. We have a chance to respond to God in prayer and then sit in silence, allowing God to do what he wants to do.
This practice is difficult for me. I tend to rush through scripture so that I can check it off the list and move on to the next thing. I even motor through scripture, turning up the noise, and drowning our God’s voice. There are also frustrating times where I feel centered and quiet, but don’t hear from God at all.
I have found that it is easier to reflect on smaller moments, getting some practice with those, before jumping into the more monumental ones. When you are reflecting here are some things to be aware of:
- Past events carry a message. What is the story you tell yourself about the event? What is the narrative you have to explain what happened?
- Ground your self in the present. Lengthen your breathing and scan through your body. Where are you holding tension? What emotions are you experiencing right now?
- Distractions take attention away. What we are being drawn away from is a more profound insight that we may be resisting. See if you can become aware of what it is that you are avoiding.
Resistance to Change
What part of your life are you most defensive about?
We take a defensive position to protect a treasure that we don’t want to lose. It may feel like you are holding onto something, but it is holding onto you.
When we are defensive about something that we are unwilling to give up, it has power over us.
The thing we are most defensive about is what we resist changing the most. Become aware of what you resist changing. Willingness to acknowledge what it is wont to change it, but will start to free us from it.
Without awareness of where we resist change, we will remain stuck. If we lack confidence that change is possible, the problems we seek to solve only become more complex. We can’t make things better when we are feeling defeated.
Maintaining Composure
In my sales role, I frequently feel like I don’t know what I am doing. I think that the objective that we are moving towards is slipping from my hands, and it is because I am not handling it right. I am the second-guessing myself and uncertain of the line of questioning I am taking the client on.
At this point, I am no longer in the moment. My head is now out of the game. When I get to this point when I am in dialog with someone, I screw things up by changing the topic. Stifling the moment and the direction we were moving towards.
Physically, when you are in a situation where you are under pressure, your respiration rate increases. You take shorter, more infrequent breaths and most probably through your mouth. Like you would at the end of a workout.
The same location in the brain that regulates breath is the same center that controls our emotions. When we don’t have control of our breath, we don’t have control of our emotions, and our thoughts start spinning out of control.
We never make the best decisions from this place. When we think about decisions, we made or things we had said that we most regret, I guarantee you we were in this state when it happened.
When you are moving towards this type of moment, the most crucial decision you make is to slow your breathing down. Take the longest inhale you can that is not obvious, and hold your breath.
Try to get a sense of what is going on in your body. This is listening to your body and listening with your body.
Come to this with curiosity, allowing whatever comes along, having no preference. As you hold your breath, be willing to hold all that arises. You can hold it all. Whatever comes along, belongs.
The exhale is our body’s natural down-regulation of parasympathetic function. A long, slow exhale will calm us down and slow our thinking down. If you are in a conversation, this might get interrupted. That ok, there is no point being less effective in a conversation by engaging in breathwork.
It only takes three long, cleansing breaths to reset ourselves physiologically and neurologically.
Holding Silence
After you ask a question, remain silent for as long as you can. When we hold the tension inside of ourselves, we are holding space for the other individual to make their best decision.
It sounds cliché, but whatever the outcome, let it be. The situation is what it is and bears no reference to you personally.
You did your best, and you know that you didn’t ruin things be second-guessing yourself or sabotaging the situation.
When you are in the zone as an individual, and in the zone of your companies value generators, it can feel like revenue is falling from the sky.
You can hold it all with joyful surprise.
It is moments like these that give you hope to make it through challenging business conditions. When contracts are being canceled, and expenditures tightening, while not ideal, always open up new possibilities and opportunities.
When people are making the right decisions for what is best for them and the people they lead, it always leads to thriving. Even hard truth is kindness.
In business cycles, when things are contracting, it always leads to innovation. Contractions lead to birth. Maybe we are in the pangs of childbirth.
Reflection Question:
In what area do you desire new life?
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For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.
Romans 8:22-23
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