There is a book about to come out, and I read the introduction. It has all the makings of a best seller. Telling people what they desperately want to hear, you can be whoever you want to be.
But to what point is that just feeding us a line?
Yes, I deeply believe that we can learn, grow, develop, and change. Carol Dweck’s groundbreaking research scientifically proves this in Mindset. If we believe it is possible to grow, we can, our future is not fixed.
The list of who I can’t be is infinite. I can’t be the fifth Beatle, Stevie Ray Vaughan, a John Elway touchdown pass receiver, Timothy Keller, etc.…
Wanting to become someone else is a recipe for disaster.
It is possible to become who we were meant to be. Who we truly are, the person God created us to be. That person is irreplaceable!
Let’s not forget that we can also be who we don’t want to be.
Doing What I Don’t Want To Do
Sometimes it surprises me how little it takes for me to become a complete jerk. Short-tempered, irritable, who no one wants to be around. Even the dog.
Recently it has been triggered by writing and posting on this blog. I enjoy the writing, its something I want to do more of and get better at. But for some reason, after I post it, I get downright nasty. It is opposite of what I imagined, running onto a basketball court, through a gauntlet, getting hi-fives.
This isn’t the only place it happens. When my agenda gets derailed, I’m all, how dare you interrupt my pursuit? Or do anything less than facilitate its realization.
Why is it so easy to slide right into this kind of person? It seems to happen naturally, without much effort. And when I do, it hurts people around me, people I love.
Tension Between Now and Not-Yet
Recently I am experiencing the tension between a clear vision I want to move towards and the present hard reality that it is not here yet. I can be clear on the vision, but when the details don’t fall into place, accepting the current reality is more difficult.
It is like having a foot in two camps, and they just get further and further apart. What do I do if it doesn’t materialize?
Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, has been a favorite of mine. Last week I picked it up again for a re-read. A passage jumped right out that I didn’t remember. It was like it wasn’t in there before.
The book is written by a psychologist’s experience in a Nazi Germany concentration camp. Talking about people that faced hardship with honor he writes:
It can be said that they were worthy of their suffering; the way they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom – which cannot be taken away – that makes life meaningful and purposeful… If there is a meaning in life at all, there must be meaning in suffering.
Man’s Search For Meaning
Victor Frankl
Page 67
I can’t stop thinking about this profound question, am I worthy of my sufferings?
By no means is my struggle at the level those in concentration camps endured. But if one man can find hope amid those atrocities, then it is possible for me also, in my struggles.
I am not sure of the path that lies forward. I will maintain the tension of acknowledging and staying hopeful for the vision I want to move towards while remaining faithful to the tasks that are mine to do right now.
Reflection questions:
Am I worthy of my sufferings?
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For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.
Romans 7:18-19
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